Sunday, January 3, 2010

We just don't get along, redux

Pertaining to the last question: Right now the cubs are younger - not in school full time. I currently have a small part time job. Daycare alone would cost more than the difference of what I make now and my earning potential (if I could even get that in today's job market!) at a full time job, that and my kids get the benefit of having mom around to raise them instead of strangers which is the reason I looked for creative ways to make money from home in the first place. :) My husband did lose a high paying job about 5 yrs ago and had to take a job making 1/3 of the money he used to. His ego hasn't really recovered. He doesn't like living the way we do, he longs for the good old days.

Thank you for this follow up. I apologize for any incorrect assumptions I may have made in my first reply. I am heartened by the emphasis you place on properly raising your cubs. That speaks well of you. I once again applaud you on having a successful SL business. If your SL income does indeed significantly contribute to your family's welfare, and it does not involve the less than family friendly occoupations, then from what you have now shared I can only surmise that your husband's dislike of SL stems from some deeper issues.

I sympathize with your situation. The analog person behind this digital persona was involuntarily unemployed for nearly a year at one time in his life. I can tell you such a thing is devastating to the fragile male ego.

The stress of having to provide for a family can be profound. Many men feel this pressure almost instinctually. It is part of our socialization.

I wish I had an easy solution to offer you, my friend. Separation is not something I would ask you to even consider. Completely giving up your SL activities is undesirable, especially if you are making "real" money with them. Getting your husband to appreciate that fact is more than I am capable of doing. At this point I can only suggest that you and your husband may benefit from the services of a professional.

Again, I say these things with only imperfect knowledge of your situation. If you want to discuss this further, I can be reached via e-mail or google chat. (onyx.plutonian [AT] gmail [DOT] com) I am willing to lend you my ear and offer what support I may.

Ask a tiger.

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