Builder's Bane

A house design of mine has recently been copied, very, very closely. This person owns a design group and apparently I'm not good enough to invite. Good enough to copy but not invite me to the group? What should I do? :(

Ack! The builder's bane! I am so sorry you have had to endure this outrage, my friend. Unfortunately I am not much of an expert in this area. I'm not sure there is much you can do legally, though. Unless the copier employed textures you had created, and thus may have some copyright protection for, or you can somehow prove copybotting, then I do not know that you have much recourse vis a vis either Linden Labs sanction or other legal avenues. The people you will want to contact are the organizers of the Step Up! campaign (http://stepupsl.wordpress.com/) especially the Content Creators Association (http://contentcreatorsassociation.blogspot.com/) and those behind the Step Up ning (http://step-up-sl.ning.com/). I believe Miss Saffia Widdershins, editrix of Prim Perfect Publications and Designing Worlds hostess, is central to that group. They will be able to advise you better than I on the next steps you should take.

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Separation Anxiety

I am crazy about this woman I met in Second Life, she has become a very miportant part of my life both second and real life. We are both married and she feels strained keeping second and real separate...any advice I can pass on to her would be helpful.

Thank you for your question, my friend, and congratulations on making such a wonderful connection. Yours is not an uncommon dilemma in the realm of virtual relationships. I maintain that the separation between virtual and actual lives is one of the more difficult balancing acts we face in the digital age. The problem is that the veil of separation is often porous, or quite nearly transparent at times. It often depends on the individual. Some people have little trouble compartmentalizing their experience. Others, with a more holistic mindset, have great difficulty doing so. The most porous aspect of separation is the emotional. There is always an actual living person behind the avatar persona. (At least until the advent of Strong AI) The emotions evoked by the relationships we build in the virtual realm are undeniably real and often quite strong.

This is a topic on which I have expended much mental energy and have discussed at length with many of my close friends. There are many ways that people learn to deal with keeping the two worlds separate. Some don't bother to at all. One thing all of these have in common is the understanding that the virtual world does indeed effect the actual. Another is that one must have their actual life in order first. You say she feels strained. This indicates to me that while she may feel strongly for you she also feels strongly for her spouse. I do not know for sure what your beloved's conflict is, but I can guess that she may be feeling guilty about her association with you. If this is so, then she needs to sort out her relationship with her 1st Life spouse. I would advise you to do the same. I am not qualified to make any sort of pronouncement on whether a romance in SL constitutes an issue of fidelity in 1st Life. What I can say is that if the spouse believes it does, then that becomes a serious matter which must be resolved.

I fully appreciate the intensity of the connection and immediacy of emotions that Second Life® romances can invoke. I have had one or two myself. However, if your beloved is feeling a conflict within herself, then it is time to consider whether the experience you share is worth the potential damage or even dissolution of what may otherwise be loving and fulfilling relationshps in the physical realm.

Ask a tiger.

All my son eats is bacon and hot dogs and some potato chips and sometimes bread with peanut butter..this can;t be healthy what can I do he is four.

Thank you for your question, my friend. Dealing with a picky eater is tough. One part of me, the one that loves "guy food", says, "bacon, hot dogs, chips and peanut butter. Perfect! What's wrong with that?" At least your son has fixated on some long standing favorites. He has already acquired a real man's palate. Honestly, peanut butter, in this tiger's opinion, is surely one of the most perfect of foods. Thank you George Washington Carver. And bacon! My dear friend, I applaud you for introducing your offspring to the joys of bacon. But, yes, you are a good parent and quite right. Man cannot live on peanut butter and bacon alone, as much as we might wish we could. My older cub is also a picky eater; so, I know the challenge and concerns you face. I still cannot get either of my cubs to eat potatoes or eggs. I am not a nutritionist; so, take anything I say here with that in mind. With that said, let me first assure you that by and large children will eat what they need from a nutritional standpoint. It may be that your cub has a particular need for salt and protein at this time, or maybe he just likes the taste. As parents it is incumbent on us to provide our stubborn little ones with healthy choices; but, one must pick ones battles. At four years of age it is not always possible to reason with them. Instead, you might try to inject a bit of fun into the process. Make fun healthy snacks like carrot sticks with dip. Or, since he likes peanut butter, put some on celery sticks with raisins on it. This is called ants on a log (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/creativesnacks/r/antslogrec.htm). Supplementing his diet with children's vitamins is also acceptable; and do be sure to give him plenty of milk. Another thing you might try is combining those things he does like with new things. Make beans and franks, for example. If he likes cheese, mix it in with broccoli, or try green beans with bacon (http://southernfood.about.com/od/greenbeans/r/bln436.htm). In this way you can maybe start to broaden his idea of what tastes good. Be patient, be loving, and he will do just fine.

And now, all this talk of food has gotten me hungry. Please, allow me to share with you one of the most brilliant homages to bacon on the interwebs. I give you The Bacon Flowchart: http://bacontoday.com/the-bacon-flowchart/

Ask a tiger.

Picky Eater

All my son eats is bacon and hot dogs and some potato chips and sometimes bread with peanut butter. This can't be healthy what can I do? He is four.

Thank you for your question, my friend. Dealing with a picky eater is tough. One part of me, the one that loves "guy food", says, "bacon, hot dogs, chips and peanut butter. Perfect! What's wrong with that?" At least your son has fixated on some long standing favorites. He has already acquired a real man's palate. Honestly, peanut butter, in this tiger's opinion, is surely one of the most perfect of foods. Thank you George Washington Carver. And bacon! My dear friend, I applaud you for introducing your offspring to the joys of bacon. But, yes, you are a good parent and quite right. Man cannot live on peanut butter and bacon alone, as much as we might wish we could. My older cub is also a picky eater; so, I know the challenge and concerns you face. I still cannot get either of my cubs to eat potatoes or eggs. I am not a nutritionist; so, take anything I say here with that in mind. With that said, let me first assure you that by and large children will eat what they need from a nutritional standpoint. It may be that your cub has a particular need for salt and protein at this time, or maybe he just likes the taste. As parents it is incumbent on us to provide our stubborn little ones with healthy choices; but, one must pick ones battles. At four years of age it is not always possible to reason with them. Instead, you might try to inject a bit of fun into the process. Make fun healthy snacks like carrot sticks with dip. Or, since he likes peanut butter, put some on celery sticks with raisins on it. This is called ants on a log (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/creativesnacks/r/antslogrec.htm). Supplementing his diet with children's vitamins is also acceptable; and do be sure to give him plenty of milk. Another thing you might try is combining those things he does like with new things. Make beans and franks, for example. If he likes cheese, mix it in with broccoli, or try green beans with bacon (http://southernfood.about.com/od/greenbeans/r/bln436.htm). In this way you can maybe start to broaden his idea of what tastes good. Be patient, be loving, and he will do just fine.

And now, all this talk of food has gotten me hungry. Please, allow me to share with you one of the most brilliant homages to bacon on the interwebs. I give you The Bacon Flowchart: http://bacontoday.com/the-bacon-flowchart/

Ask a tiger.

Pete and Alice

I am in love with Pete since Oct last year. We had a lot in common so we became friends quickly but he started going out with Alice in Dec. Nobody had known he loved her; not even his best friend. I did tell himm i loved him too now we are not even frien[ds anymore.]

Ohh dear, what a sad story. Unrequited love can be so tragic. I feel for you, my friend. You say Pete started dating Alice in December and now we are in March. That's a reasonably long time. I think it is safe to say at this point that he has moved on. If I were you I would too. There are many more deserving men out there. It is sad to say, but sometimes the chemistry only flows one way. He may have been a good friend to you, but quite obviously did not share the romantic attraction. There is too much life out there for you to tie yourself in knots over this unfortunate incident. Get out there, enjoy all that life has to offer. Another wonderful man will likely come your way. Put this one behind you and journey onwards.

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Friend vs Friend

Is there any practical way to get across to an acquaintance that his-or-her actions in regards to one relationship have really hurt older, mutual friends? I believe, for one, they feel discarded w/o merit, although they won't particularly show it.

My apologies for the delay in my response. My friend, nothing is as practical as just coming right out and saying what is on your mind. I caution you, however, if you are not a direct party in whatever transpired, it may not even be your place to say anything. Interjecting yourself in the situation only spreads the drama fire. The best course would be to let the principal parties handle it themselves. You may certainly express your support to the friends whom you think have been discarded. However, you cannot speak for others. They must do so for themselves. Believing your friends feel discarded is not enough. Confirm this with them first. You may be overestimating their state of mind, or even be entirely wrong about it. Also, from what I can gather by your question, these mutual friends are also secondary parties. Let the principles work out the situation for themselves. The best thing you can do is be available as a sounding board should either of them need one.

Ask a tiger.