I need some child raising advise...how can I get my 3 year old to clean up his toys either at home or friends house and not scream in themiddle of a grocery store. Really getting on my nerves..I can't take him anywhere...
Oh those rascally little cubs! I have two of my own. They are somewhat older than three and I still have trouble getting them to pick up after themselves. When they were younger, however, and we needed them to put it all away, we employed the "make a game of it" strategy. As for the screaming in public, that requires a different approach. Believe it or not, the little dears are trainable. I am not a parenting expert, but there are a few things that have worked well for me. The good news is, and I *can* speak with authority of this one, they do grow out of the screaming stage. Whenever we take our cubs anywhere we re-enforce the expectations. We run down the litany of "Wills" and Will nots". Now and then we have to employ the "Carrot and Stick" approach. If they start to mis-behave, we offer an enticement (ok a bribe), if they behave, they get it. If not, they do not.
The key is clear expectations, repettiton and consistancy. It has often been said that children need limits, that they need rules. I tend to agree with this. They want to behave, to do the things that make you shower them with love and affection. They just need to learn what those things are. As a parent one of your jobs is to set the limits of acceptable behavior. It is also true that they will do whatever you let them get away with. So, when setting those limits it is important to also establish consequences for mis-behavior. I will not go so far as to elaborate on what those consequences entail, exept to say do not make a promise you cannot keep, or threaten a punishment that you cannot carry out.
For more informed advice, I recommend the following websites:
iVillage: This is their section on Toddler/Pre-schooler Behavior issues
Parenting.com: an article entitled 5 Tantrum Stoppers That Work