Friday, September 10, 2010

How intimate is too intimate?

An intimate relationship I am involvedin SL is getting ever closer however he is asking a lot of questions about my real life avatar; height weight, even hair color..which he knows .. how initimate is too intimate?

Thank you for your question, my friend. That is quite a quandry. The easiest answer is that "too intimate" is anywhere past your comfort level. If you are comfortable sharing body measurements then go right ahead. If not, don't. You must determine for yourself what details you are comfortable sharing. Physical attributes such as those you describe are fairly innocuous in and of themselves. It is pretty much a given that very few of us look much like our avatars, although I do know a few people who are pretty close.

There are a few caveats, however. As with any relationship, especially in aetherspace, be careful what identifying details you divulge. Even if you have developed a high degree of trust with the other person, giving them such details as your actual name, phone number, postal address or even just the city in which your analog self lives involves an increased risk. It is quite possible that he is simply curious and genuinely just wants to form a more complete picture of who you are. It is quite reasonable that people we become close to in Second Life eventually become curious about the person behind the persona. If he is willing to reciprocate with like details, then that is more likely. However, if the exchange is one way that could be a cause for concern.

Ask a tiger.

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