Why do so many people insist that formality means one is being cold? Or that one cannot be both friendly and formal at the same time?
To my great and good friend I, your humble servant, send this my most heartfelt appreciation for your insightful and poignant query. Pray, allow me now to tender this response. In this present day and age, when the norm of social discourse has become somewhat less genteel than was the case in previous eras, formality has become associated with either pretentiousness or aloofness rather than polite respect. This is aided by conventions of the English language. English has no equivalent to the honorifics of Japanese, for instance. Not so long ago young ladies and gentlemen were instructed in proper deportment and ettiquete. Ones education was not considered "finished" without these important lessons in smoothing the rough edges that so often lead to social frictions.
I am of the firm opinon that it is indeed still possible to conduct oneself properly, with respect and gracious good will toward others. In short that, yes, one can be both formal and friendly. Unfortunately, some with which one interracts will not appreciate this as a show of respect but will revile it as a pretentious affectation.
Once again, I extend my most heartfelt gratitude for thinking of presenting this quandry fo my elicudation. I pray you recieve it in good health and that it will ease your mind.
Formally and unpretentionsly yours,